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Written by: Patrick from The Anal Sex Toys Shop
Publish on 16/06/2026
Trying a first time anal dildo can feel intimidating, and most beginners have the same concerns: Will it hurt? Am I choosing the right size? How much lube do I need?
The good news is that a comfortable first experience isn't about depth or pushing your limits. It's about going slowly, choosing a beginner-friendly toy, and paying attention to what feels comfortable for your body.
In this guide, I'll cover what to expect, how to choose your first anal dildo, how to prepare, how to use it safely, and when it's best to slow down or stop.
If you're still deciding on a toy, our Beginner Anal Dildos collection focuses on slimmer, softer, easier-to-control designs that are ideal for first-time users.
What to Expect When Using an Anal Dildo for the First Time
One of the first things I noticed is that an anal dildo feels very different from a butt plug.
A butt plug is designed to stay in place and create steady fullness once it is inserted. An anal dildo feels different because you decide how much of it to use, how slowly to move, and when to pause.
That can make the experience feel more adjustable, especially if you only use the tip at first. But it also means you need to stay in control. Moving too fast, going too deep, or choosing a dildo that is too wide can make the first experience feel overwhelming very quickly.
During your first session, you may notice:
- Pressure
- Fullness
- A stretching sensation
- Increased awareness during movement
- The need to pause and adjust
Those sensations can be completely normal when they feel manageable.
What shouldn't happen is sharp pain, burning, panic, or the feeling that your body is resisting every movement.
In my experience, the best first sessions feel gradual. You might only use the tip or part of the shaft, and that's perfectly fine. There's no requirement to use the entire toy.
The goal isn't depth.
The goal is comfort, control, and confidence.
How to Choose Your First Anal Dildo
If there's one thing I'd recommend to every beginner, it's choosing a smaller and more approachable toy than you think you need.
A dildo that looks only slightly large in photos can feel much bigger during actual use, especially if it's firm, thick, or has a blunt shape.
For a first-time anal dildo, I recommend looking for:
- A slimmer diameter
- A tapered or rounded tip
- A smooth or lightly contoured shaft
- A softer or more flexible feel
- A curved shape that's easy to guide
- A secure flared base, suction cup, or safe handle
- A size that feels approachable rather than intimidating
Diameter matters far more than length.
You don't have to use the full length of a dildo, but you'll feel the width immediately. That's why slimmer beginner-friendly designs are usually easier to relax around.
Beginner-Friendly Styles to Consider
When choosing your first anal dildo, focus less on appearance and more on comfort, size, and control.
Some beginner-friendly features include:
- A slim diameter
- A tapered tip
- A smooth shaft with minimal texture
- Softer or more flexible materials
- A curved shape that feels easy to guide
- A secure flared base or suction cup
Many beginners also find that simple designs feel less intimidating than highly detailed or oversized toys.
Whether you prefer realistic, non-realistic, colourful, or minimalist designs is mostly a matter of personal preference. What matters most is choosing a size and shape that feels approachable and comfortable for your first experience.
What Beginners Should Usually Avoid
For a first-time anal dildo experience, I'd generally avoid:
- Oversized dildos
- Very thick shafts
- Extremely firm materials
- Heavy texture or pronounced ridges
- Blunt tips
- Toys that feel intimidating before you even use them
You may enjoy those styles later, but they're rarely the easiest place to begin.
If you're comparing options, our Beginner Anal Dildos collection focuses on ultra-soft suction cup styles, slim curved designs, glow-in-the-dark beginner options, and slimmer realistic dildos that are easier to approach for first-time users.
How to Prepare for a Comfortable Experience
In my opinion, preparation is what makes the biggest difference between a stressful first attempt and a comfortable one.
The good news is that preparation doesn't need to be complicated.
Before starting:
- Wash the toy before use
- Check that it has a safe base, handle, or suction cup
- Use a comfortable private space
- Keep lubricant within reach
- Start when you're not rushed
- Choose a position where you can control the toy easily
Relaxation matters more than many beginners realize.
If you're tense before you begin, insertion will usually feel more difficult. Take a few minutes to slow your breathing, apply plenty of lube, and let yourself get comfortable before moving further.
You can also start externally. There's no rule saying you need to insert the toy immediately. Simply letting the toy rest against the area with plenty of lubricant can help your body adjust.
And when it comes to lube, my advice is simple: use more than you think you need.
The anal area doesn't produce natural lubrication the way other parts of the body do, so friction can build quickly if things become dry.
If you're unsure which lubricant to choose, our Anal Lube Guide explains which options tend to work best for anal play.
How to Use an Anal Dildo Step by Step
The first time you use an anal dildo should feel slow and controlled.
Think of it as learning rather than performing.
Step 1: Apply plenty of lube
Cover the tip and shaft of the dildo with lubricant.
Apply lubricant externally as well.
If it feels like you're using a lot, that's usually a good sign.
Step 2: Start with the tip only
Place the tip gently against the opening and pause.
Don't rush this part.
Give your body time to relax around the sensation before applying any additional pressure.
If you tense up, stop, breathe, and add more lube if needed.
Step 3: Move slowly
When you feel ready, apply gentle pressure and allow the tip to enter gradually.
The first few moments are often the most important.
Rushing here usually creates more tension rather than less.
Step 4: Pause after the first entry
Once the tip or first section is inside, stop for a moment.
Let your body adjust before moving deeper.
Many beginners make the mistake of continuing immediately after the initial entry.
There's no need to use the entire dildo.
Step 5: Use small movements
If everything feels comfortable, experiment with slow and shallow movement.
Keep things controlled.
There's no advantage to moving faster or deeper during your first session.
If you're using a suction cup dildo, I'd still recommend guiding it by hand initially. Hands-free play can come later once you're familiar with the toy's size, angle, and depth.
Step 6: Stop before discomfort builds
One thing I've learned is that a successful first session doesn't need to be long.
Stopping while you still feel comfortable is often better than pushing until you're sore or overwhelmed.
Common First-Time Mistakes to Avoid
Most beginner problems come from moving too quickly, choosing the wrong toy, or not using enough lubricant.
Some of the most common mistakes include:
- Choosing a toy that's too wide
- Using too little lubricant
- Starting with a blunt or very firm design
- Trying to use the full length immediately
- Moving too quickly
- Using suction too early without enough control
- Ignoring discomfort
- Feeling like you need to "finish" the experience
- Comparing yourself to what you've seen online
Your first experience doesn't need to be dramatic.
It can be slow, partial, and exploratory.
Honestly, that's often the best way to make future experiences easier and more enjoyable.
Another mistake is assuming that discomfort means anal play isn't for you.
Sometimes the issue is simply the toy's size, shape, firmness, position, or the amount of lube you're using.
A slimmer, softer, easier-to-control dildo can completely change the experience.
When to Stop and Adjust
Knowing when to stop is part of using an anal dildo responsibly.
You should pause or adjust if you experience:
- Sharp pain
- Burning
- Strong resistance
- Panic or loss of control
- Numbness
- Irritation that keeps increasing
- A feeling that you're forcing yourself through it
Pressure and fullness can be normal.
Pain isn't the goal.
If something feels wrong, stop and reassess.
Add more lube. Change positions. Reduce depth. Try a smaller toy. Or simply leave it for another day.
Stopping doesn't mean you've failed.
In my view, it means you're paying attention to your body, which is exactly what makes anal play safer and more enjoyable over time.
After use, clean the toy properly before storing it. Our How to Clean Anal Toys guide explains a simple routine for keeping toys hygienic without overcomplicating the process.
FAQ
What size anal dildo is best for a first time?
A slimmer anal dildo with a tapered or rounded tip is usually the easiest place to start.
Diameter matters more than length, so avoid wide, bulky, or very firm designs for your first experience.
Should a first-time anal dildo hurt?
No.
Pressure, fullness, or a stretching sensation can feel normal, but sharp pain, burning, or strong discomfort means you should stop, add more lube, reduce depth, or try a smaller toy.
Do I need to use the whole dildo the first time?
No.
For a first anal dildo experience, using only the tip or part of the shaft is completely fine. The goal is control and comfort, not full depth.
Are suction cup dildos good for first-time anal use?
They can be, especially if the dildo is slim, soft, and easy to control.
For your first few sessions, guiding the toy by hand is usually better before trying hands-free suction play.
Why does an anal dildo feel more intense than a butt plug?
A butt plug usually stays in place and creates steady fullness.
An anal dildo can move, change depth, and create more sensation, so it can feel more intense if you rush or go too deep too quickly.
What should I do if the dildo will not go in?
Stop and do not force it.
Add more lube, relax your body, try less pressure, or switch to a smaller toy. If your body keeps resisting, leave it for another day.
Are beginner anal dildos different from regular anal dildos?
Yes.
Beginner anal dildos are usually slimmer, smoother, softer-feeling, and easier to control. They are designed to feel less intimidating and more manageable for first-time users.
Where to Go Next
If you're planning your first anal dildo experience, these guides may help:
- Beginner Anal Dildos - for choosing slimmer, softer first-time options
- Anal Lube Guide - for finding lubricant that makes anal play more comfortable
- What Size Butt Plug Should I Start With - for understanding beginner-friendly diameter
- Beginner’s Guide to Anal Play - for learning the basics before trying toys
- How to Clean Anal Toys - for cleaning and storing toys after use
- Best Anal Toys for Beginners - for comparing plugs, slim dildos, and beginner sets
From my perspective, the best first-time anal dildo experiences are the ones that stay relaxed, controlled, and pressure-free.
Start smaller than you think you need, use plenty of lube, move slowly, and let comfort — not expectations — decide how far you go.
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